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Manoj Dalmia MD

Mar 4, 2014
2 min

Memories of Daddy, Post 71: I Do Not Want Money. I Just Want My Daddy Back.

Daddy believed in giving his kids as much of a head-start in life as possible. He almost always kept his (and my) eyes in front of him, and rarely behind him. When I was 16 years old, he got me my first credit card (obviously co-signed and paid by him) so I could start building up credit. This foresight presented itself while I was in medical school and considered buying a place. The realtor I spoke to said incredulously: "I've never missed a credit card payment, I've owned 4

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Memories of Daddy, Post 70: Cherish Your Own "Daddy" Moments.

Manoj Dalmia MD

Mar 3, 2014
1 min

Memories of Daddy, Post 70: Cherish Your Own "Daddy" Moments.

A picture of Daddy only a few months before he got really sick, near the end of 2012. He was in an assisted care facility but improving, and he came home fairly soon after this picture was taken. It's just sad how fast things can change... Please do not take for granted the moments you share with your loved ones because you just don't know how many more moments you may have left with them. And on that note, I've gotta get going so I can meet Mummy and my sis for dinner. Goodn

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Manoj Dalmia MD

Mar 2, 2014
1 min

Memories of Daddy, Post 69: And the Academy Award for Best Dad goes to... Daddy.

I'm watching the Oscars with Mummy and my sis, and it's been amusing and moving at the same time (in one man's opinion). I personally thought Jared Leto's speech was especially poignant, particularly when he spoke about his mom - it was an absolutely fantastic tribute. He spoke about the challenges she faced and the sacrifices she made for him, and it (obviously) made me think of Daddy. Daddy loved the Oscars, and I'm sure he would be enjoying it if he were with us. I may not

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Manoj Dalmia MD

Mar 1, 2014
1 min

Memories of Daddy, Post 68: Missing the "Little Things".

So I'm sitting with Mummy and Monica again, but this time, Monica is the one who's crying the most (though both me and Mummy have tears in our eyes as well). I asked Monica if she had a story she wanted me to share. And she had this to say: "Well, when I was younger, Daddy would open his arms as wide as he could and say 'I love you THIS much'. That's what he would always say to me." And with that, Monica started to choke up and started crying. And so did me and Mummy. Those s

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Manoj Dalmia MD

Feb 28, 2014
2 min

Memories of Daddy, Post 67: Daddy Realized it's Never Too Late to Learn the Value of Good Friends.

Daddy could be a real curmudgeon. He and Mummy were the exact opposite when it came to their social acumen. Mummy was and continues to be a social butterfly, making friends wherever she goes (I'd like to think I've inherited this quality). But Daddy didn't make friends very easily. When he was younger, his focus was mainly on family and work, and he had little time for friends. There were more than a few times where he came into conflict with Mummy over some of her friends, a

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Memories of Daddy, Post 66: The Start of Daddy's and Mummy's Journey.

Manoj Dalmia MD

Feb 27, 2014
1 min

Memories of Daddy, Post 66: The Start of Daddy's and Mummy's Journey.

I'm sitting with Mummy and Monica right now, and Mummy is crying. She continues to miss Daddy (obviously). But what my sister and I are attempting to do is have her focus on the good memories they shared. And one of the best memories came from the start of their life journey together. They looked so happy. Focus on this Mummy for your and Daddy's sake. He wouldn't want you to be so sad, so focus on those good moments please. #memoriesofdaddy #rerememberance #therealestmd

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Manoj Dalmia MD

Feb 26, 2014
3 min

Memories of Daddy, Post 65: Daddy's Experiences With Racism.

The veto of a bill in Arizona that would have allowed discrimination against innocent people got me thinking of the discrimination Daddy faced coming to this country. It was this experience with discrimination that prompted him to push for us to not speak Hindi for fear we may develop a slight accent or to draw unnecessary attention towards us. He wanted his family to be integrated as possible, but as is plainly evident, no matter how much progress we've made as a country, th

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Manoj Dalmia MD

Feb 25, 2014
3 min

Memories of Daddy, Post 64: Daddy Taught Me To Just Enjoy The Ride Of Life.

Fear of the unknown and change are two things that can be powerful in their ability to paralyze someone, to make one panic, to create immense doubt in oneself. It does get easier to handle as time moves ahead, but those first couple of times can be awful. That first time for me was going away to Chicago for college. I realize Chicago is not far from the burbs of Detroit, but as someone who had always lived in the safety and care of his parents at home and had never been on hi

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Manoj Dalmia MD

Feb 24, 2014
2 min

Memories of Daddy, Post 63: Daddy Provided Balance To My Life.

Mummy will be arriving in California tomorrow to spend time with me and my sister, and it couldn't come at a better time. I've had a number of ups and downs this year, and I honestly just want to lay my head on Mummy's lap and sleep. When my parents were around, I always felt safe, and nothing has changed in all these years. I am very much a combination of Mummy and Daddy. And I think that's why I have always been so amazingly close to them. I have the emotional fire of Mummy

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Memories of Daddy, Post 62: Daddy's Girl.

Manoj Dalmia MD

Feb 23, 2014
1 min

Memories of Daddy, Post 62: Daddy's Girl.

Daddy's love toward Monica was pretty amazing. She would always be the one person who would make Daddy's heart melt. She was always his, and our, gudiya ("baby-doll"). So much love. #memoriesofdaddy #rerememberance #therealestmd

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Manoj Dalmia MD

Feb 22, 2014
2 min

Memories of Daddy, Post 61: Daddy Could Be An Incredibly Powerful Calming Force.

Today, I spent the afternoon with Ganesh, one of my best friends. We went to lunch and followed that up with a couple of places for wine-tasting. We caught up on a number of things, and not surprisingly, the conversation shifted to my dad. I said numerous people have told me they were impressed by the detail of the stories I've shared about him; however, I've always been an emotional person, and when you tie emotion to a memory, it makes a powerful connection. He then shared

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Manoj Dalmia MD

Feb 21, 2014
1 min

Memories of Daddy, Post 60: Daddy's Name Lives On.

Daddy's full name coming from India was Mahendra Kumar Ram Kumar Dalmia with Ram being his father's first name. But when Daddy got his US citizenship, Daddy changed it to just Mahendra Ram Dalmia, which was a bit more manageable of a name. Even after Dadaji passed, Daddy was able to carry on and honor his father's name till his own last days. If I had grown up in India, my full name would've been Manoj Kumar Mahendra Kumar Dalmia. I considered honoring Daddy by changing my na

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Manoj Dalmia MD

Feb 20, 2014
3 min

Memories of Daddy, Post 59: Daddy Deserved To Live, Not Just Survive.

The lifespans of the Dalmia men leave a great deal to be desired. Before Daddy passed away, his two older brothers both passed away of heart disease at the extremely young ages of around 51-52 years. His father had a massive stroke at around 51 as well if I recall correctly. Daddy had a heart attack at 39, stroke at 51, and passed away at 64. Daddy had the advantages of much better medical care than his brothers, both fortunately and unfortunately. This is some very scary shi

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Manoj Dalmia MD

Feb 19, 2014
2 min

Memories of Daddy, Post 58: Daddy Always Tried His Best. But His Cooking Still Sucked 🤣.

Daddy was a terrible cook, another quality I clearly inherited from him. He, just like me, was spoiled by Mummy's cooking; as a result, he never worried about learning how to cook himself (nor did he have much of an interest in doing so either). But when Mummy was not around, this was kind of a disaster. One year when I was young, Mummy went to India for a month or two. So Daddy was left to take care of me and my two siblings. At first, it was kinda fun. We went out to eat ma

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Memories of Daddy, Post 57: Proud Daddy.

Manoj Dalmia MD

Feb 18, 2014
1 min

Memories of Daddy, Post 57: Proud Daddy.

I wanted to keep things simple for tonight and share this picture of me with my parents at my IIT graduation. They look so happy and proud. Mummy is her typical, cute, giggling self. And I love how tightly Daddy has his right arm wrapped around my shoulders with a huge smile on his face. After his stroke, Daddy perseverated frequently on his stroke's effects on him (see: his left arm), but for at least this moment, the only thing he was focused on was me. #memoriesofdaddy #re

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Manoj Dalmia MD

Feb 17, 2014
3 min

Memories of Daddy, Post 56: Daddy's Weak Attempt at Teaching Responsibility Succeeded Posthumously.

Daddy opened up a number of small businesses growing up The earliest one was a Baskin Robbins where I used to work starting at the age of 11. Obviously, I would be there with one of my parents, and I think the customers thought it was cute to see me working there - or at the very least, they didn't feel strongly enough to report my parents for possibly violating child labor laws 😆. Daddy wanted us to work to learn some responsibility, but never because we had to. He said he

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Manoj Dalmia MD

Feb 16, 2014
2 min

Memories of Daddy, Post 55: Daddy's Death Put a LOT of Things in Perspective.

As I'm waiting for my pediatric case to start (I'm on home-call this weekend for pediatrics and am currently at the hospital), I've been thinking about how hard I sometimes work. I put in a significant number of hours per week, anywhere from 50-70+ hours, plus a 1.5-2 hr commute round-trip daily, and it gets absolutely exhausting. Through residency, fellowship, and now working as an attending, this has been a fairly consistent routine for the past 6+ years. There are times ev

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Manoj Dalmia MD

Feb 15, 2014
2 min

Memories of Daddy, Post 54: I Just Wanted the Chance to Give Daddy a Comfortable Place to Sleep.

I wish I had seen/spoken to/hugged Daddy more frequently than I did before he passed. But just because I didn't, did NOT mean I didn't think about him frequently. Decisions I made (and regretfully didn't make) were frequently influenced by him. When I decided to move to California, I had to look for housing. In hindsight, I wish I had been closer to Daddy and chose to be in New York (which was an option), but there was no way for me to know that he would get as sick as he did

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Memories of Daddy, Post 53: Happy Valentine's Day, Daddy.

Manoj Dalmia MD

Feb 14, 2014
1 min

Memories of Daddy, Post 53: Happy Valentine's Day, Daddy.

Happy Valentine's Day to the one true love of my life: my family. Miss and love you, Daddy. #memoriesofdaddy #rerememberance #therealestmd

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Manoj Dalmia MD

Feb 13, 2014
3 min

Memories of Daddy, Post 52: Grieving the Death of a Parent is Fucking Awful.

The grieving process after losing a loved one is almost impossible to fully understand until you've personally gone through it. It's interesting to witness people dealing with grief in very divergent ways. And I see this dichotomy when I look at how Mummy and I are dealing with our own grief regarding the loss of Daddy. Mummy has been grieving tremendously since Daddy passed. She has kept any type of positive reactions to a minimum in respect of Daddy's passing. And she cries

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