I've spoken to Mummy every day since I came back to California. During most of these conversations, she is a pinnacle of strength.
However, there are moments where she cries and laments about how she could have done more for Daddy. But I'm not sure it would have been humanly possible to be more devoted to Daddy than she was.
She was at Daddy's bedside almost every single day during most of the year and many times throughout the night. She was and continues to be an amazingly devoted wife - she really is an absolutely incredible woman.
But there was one day in the last week or so before Daddy passed that she didn't come to the hospital (I believe she wasn't feeling well). When she came the next day, Daddy was mad because she didn't come the day before, so she felt guilty about this. She also would get frustrated with Daddy at other times, which she also feels very guilty about.
But I told her that regardless of these moments, you two loved each other.
Disagreements are a part of marriage, and those arguments actually maintained some normalcy during a very abnormal and trying time. I told Mummy that Daddy loved her very much, and he knew that she loved him the same.
As open as Daddy was with his feelings towards his children, he was the opposite with Mummy.
I'm not sure if that was cultural or not, but it was reality. And since he had been so independent for the majority of his life, he never wanted to admit that he ever needed anyone's help.
But Daddy needed Mummy.
He knew how lucky he was to have a wife as devoted to him as she was and continues to be.
I know he derived a tremendous amount of strength from her.
I know he cherished every moment with Mummy before he passed even though he never said it.
He loved his wife, the mother of his children, his caregiver.
Though I, and my parents themselves, expressed doubts about their marriage numerous times during my life, this past year really made it clear that even though they had their differences, they were exactly who the other person always needed.